I sit down to write and I panic, freeze. I feel as if all creativity, all passion, all energy is gone. The things that I love, the thing that I look forward to, the thing I feel called to and put time aside for and have dreamed of becomes a chore and I want to run. Run far away, back to safety, back to comfort.
What is going on? Writing brings life to my bones and gives air to my lungs. Why is the computer screen so intimidating? I want to go back to the pages in my journal, where no one will see my words, where things remain secret.
Secret. Man, that’s a loaded word. It carries with it so many conflicting meanings for me. At first my little girls squeals with delight….. “A secret, exciting. Let me in on it”.
But then my older girl pats the young one on the head and speaks wisdom, “Sweetheart, I know a secret sounds exciting and delicious, like a cupcake just waiting for it’s wrapper to be pealed off so you can bite into it. But this ‘treat’ is deceiving. It looks and tastes sweet on the outside, but once you bite into it, you will experience sour and bitterness on your tongue. The initial thrill is not worth it. You will get a stomach ache and then the secret will feel heavy and consuming and getting rid of it will feel impossible. Secrets make us sick. Don’t do it. Live on the pages of the computer screen for all to see. Even though its harder initially, it’s worth it and so much easier in the end. Come on, hold my hand, I’ll come with you.”
Read about the life scripts I’m ditching here
Glennon Doyle lives out loud and I adore her. She went from a mommy’s blogger to publishing two books, a touring speaker and philanthropist. Check out her website here. I just finished reading both of her books. They are totally worth the read!
Click on the book images to be taken to their Amazon links. When you purchase through these links, there is NO added cost to you. Purchasing through these links does provide a small commission back to Holes to Whole to help support the ministry.
