This morning I am GOOD AND MAD!
I feel my insides churning. I feel a fire in my stomach.
I want to yell and rebel and break a few things.
I am acknowledging, expressing and embracing all of this. My inner teenager is front and center. I am welcoming her and telling her that I’m so happy she is here. I am enjoying her company and wisdom. She is spunky and opinionated. I am captivated and inspired by her presence.
In the Past
There was a time that this would have scared the hell out of me. I would have slammed the door in her face and hid under the covers when she came knocking. After I got over my initial fear and shame, I would try to run as far and fast to get away from this terror of a teenager.
Teenagers are Trouble
Everyone knows that teenagers are a pain in the _______, right?
As parents we are conditioned to dread the teenage years, to wish them away and try to merely “survive them” – basically wait out the storm.
That’s a bunch of nonsense in my opinion, as a parent of teenagers as well as a parent of my own inner teenager.
Yes the teenage years can be challenging, just like any other stage in a child’s development. And like my mom has always said,
“Little kids little problems. Big kids, big problems.”
And yes, the stakes get higher.
But, a huge aspect of a teenager that we tend to overlook or immediately label as “teenage torture” is their quick wit, internal wisdom, anger and rebellion. Yes, I said their anger and rebellion!
You’re a Girl, You’re not Supposed to be Angry
I am good and mad that anger, especially the anger of a female, has been labeled negatively by most societies. Early on as young girls, we are taught that we shouldn’t be angry. We are supposed to be nice, sweet, quiet and keep the peace.
We are conditioned to stuff our anger and feel guilt, shame and embarrassment in return. We are conditioned to be “good girls” and take the bit in our teeth. We are taught that our anger is wrong, therefore something must be wrong with us.
WE ARE TAUGHT TO ABANDON OURSELVES.
WE ARE TAUGHT TO DISCONNECT FROM OURSELVES TO KEEP THE STATUS QUO AND NOT MAKE WAVES.
WE ARE TAUGHT TO WAGE WAR AGAINST OURSELVES.
WE ARE TAUGHT TO SET OURSELVES ON FIRE TO KEEP OTHERS WARM.
The truth is, this is a bunch of crap! NO ONE benefits when women (or anyone else for that matter) is marginalized and silenced. Each and every person on this earth was created uniquely with a plan and a purpose. The world needs all of us and not just standing around looking pretty. The world needs the full voices of EVERYONE!
Times are changing slowly. Ladies, it’s our job to do our part. What do we want for our daughters, granddaughters, nieces, and younger loved ones?
How do we do this?
WE HAVE TO GET GOOD AND MAD.
Because a healthy dose of anger raised from calling, conviction and passion can change lives and change the world.
I would rather have a group of angry teenagers than a “poised” and completely disconnected group of anyone else.
Check these out:
Ted Talk by Soraya Chemaly about Women and Anger – totally worth the 12 minute listen
The book “Untamed” by Glennon Doyle. This book changed my life and the lives of some close friends.