I haven’t made New Year’s resolutions in ages. Along time ago I realized that it was a complete set-up for me. A set up for perfectionism, self- sabotage and just feeling pretty awful about myself.
I would resolute to embark on these really big things and not even ask myself why. Why were these things important to me? Were they actually important to me? Did I actually want to do them? Was it because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do? Was it because that’s what “everyone else” was doing?
I generally embarked on these resolutions alone. I might have told one or two people, but not wholeheartedly. Because deep down I really didn’t believe in myself and thought that there was a good chance that I wouldn’t follow through. So why tell the whole world only to fail, swimming in humiliation and embarrassment?
I don’t blame myself, it’s the best I knew how to do at the time. What I know today is that I was completely setting myself up for “failure“ because I didn’t have support and accountability around me. I was setting myself up because I wanted to climb mountains but didn’t even own a pair of sneakers. In other words, I didn’t have the tools nor doable action steps to achieve what I was aiming for.
I also wanted to accomplish everything right away. I wanted to go at a sprinter’s pace on a marathon journey. Doing it this way only caused disappointment, frustration and burn-out.
I do it a lot differently now. I really invest time to take stock and do introspective work to find out my priorities and passions for the upcoming year. I make plans and know that those plans may change. Nothing is set in stone and there are no absolutes.
I enlist supports. I remember that “small” changes, “small” actions can lead up to great transformation. I set realistic goals and doable action steps that don’t feel like weights shackled to my back.
A few years ago I set out to define simple morning and evening routines that would work for and serve me. By taking manageable steps and implementing new things little by little, several years later I still have these anchors in my life.
The cool thing is that as I start practicing new things, overtime they become habits and then I don’t have to think about them anymore, they’re just something that I do. And it’s our habits that change our life.
If you want to know more, reach out. Would love to talk to you!!!
Stay tuned for part 2 with more specifics and details.
Reading your article helped me a lot and I agree with you. But I still have some doubts, can you clarify for me? I’ll keep an eye out for your answers.